Time does a lot of things to different objects. Wort slowly ferments over time and becomes beer. We as humans become older yet wiser. Trees grow into massive spectacular objects. Time also takes its toll on automobiles. It has to the “Beige Bandit”. This past year was rough for her and I knew I was going to need a new car sooner or later. That day came yesterday. Sunday was my
last full day driving around in the vehicle I’ve been rolling around in now for 5 years. I purchased a 2004 Mazda 3i. I really wanted another Honda but there was nothing available in the price range I was in. I found this one at Morries Hyundai and I knew the moment I sat down in it I was going to buy this car. 48,000 miles, not a scratch on her. The interior and exterior would make you think it was a brand spanking new car. So as I turn over a new leaf I’d like to reflect on some of the memories I had in the old car. Some of you may remember these times we’ve had.
There was the epic road trip I took with my pops out to Ridgeway Colorado for some mountain biking. Two guys, two bikes, a shit ton of luggage. We barely made it over those mountain passes. Pedal to the metal not even hitting 40mph going up. Then coming down, the clutch went out. We had to keep stopping to pump the pedal. Turns out she needed new master and slave cylinders. It was worth it. We got to ride one of the most famous mountain bike trails around. SLICKROCK!!!!
There was that one of many drunken nights down at the U with the Peej. We just had to make a pit stop in one of the Hall’s for some shenanigans and bush jummping. We got back to the lot I parked you in and thought I’d lost you. Stolen? Towed? You were towed. I preceded to call the towing company and chew them out still half drunk about how they towed you before 2am. It really was about 1:50am and my car was already gone. But the next day, $250 some odd dollars I was back in the drivers seat.
There was that week preceding one of many trips up to Duluth. You kept stalling at stop signs and lights. I thought nothing of it and drove up to Duluth. Once I hit Duluth, you stalled 5 times before I hit my destination. Then when when we wanna go home you won’t start at all. After a tow, a day of work missed, and $150 for some coil-over part, you were back at it.
There was the one weekend out to Stout. Coming home, driving fast as hell on a Sunday morning because I had to work. We were all very hungover, underage, and a shit load of booze in the back seat. A Wisc. state trooper flips on his cherries. Comes right up behind me and pulls over the guy in front of me(we were going the same speed). OOFTA, that was a close one.
A couple summers ago you decided you didn’t want you’re muffler anymore. OK, so I tore it off. Piece by piece it fell of more and more. You were quite loud. I always joked how I got my noise maker for free. It became a new “tone” this year, and finally I started to grow tired of that muffler.
All those short 5min. trips I needed to take here or there. Only that when it was hot outside you wouldn’t start up right away after that. After switching out some things here and there, you still did it. I gave up, and planned my days from there on out not to drive short distances.
All of those biking trips we’ve had. I was amazed at you’re ability to hold so much bike gear. Especially for the 24 Hours of Afton. You were packed full each year. Yet got me to and from the hill every time. Lebanon, Theo, Murphy, Buck, Afton, Red Wing, Winona, Duluth, and many others. You were my shop away from home for bike repairs.
The crooked “I’d rather be Homebrewing sticker” on the back bumper. Why don’t I just ask to get pulled over.
Driving fast on freeways around corners has been risky this past year. No shocks or struts to absorb all those potholes. It was like driving a wicked shimmy sometimes.
Ahhh, the oil leakS. So many to pick from. It got to the point where you were burning through 4 quarts of oil in just 1,000 miles. After it was determined it wasn’t the valve cover gasket or the oil pan gasket I knew you needed to be replaced. I feared you’re head gasket was starting to crap out on ya.
All of this only because of the fact my old car, the “White Rabbit” was stolen right out of my driveway and totaled.
So little Beige Bandit I bid you adieu. I’m gonna miss you. We had some good times in together. I laughed, cried, yelled, and everything else with ya. I hope whoever ends up buying you gets a few more miles before you officially retire. Like Paul Simon sings in the song I’m listening to right now “Still crazy after all these years.” Ciao
October 9, 2007
